Perhaps I had ambitions to be an MP - or an undertaker!

Friday, September 28, 2012

No.217

I found this amusing piece on the internet some time ago and I decided to reproduce it here.

NOT TO WORRY
by 
"Worrywart"

Worrywart - n. One who worries excessively and needlessly - from www.freedictionary.com

The free encyclopedia wikipedia describes worry as “thoughts, images and emotions of a negative nature in which mental attempts are made to avoid anticipated potential threats. As an emotion it is experienced as anxiety or concern about a real or imagined issue.”


10 Questions to be answered

Do you worry that you’ll miss an important appointment by oversleeping?

Do you worry that your alarm clock will fail to ring?

Do you worry that you’ll miss your bus/train/plane?

Do you worry that the taxi won’t turn up and that you’ll miss your connection?

Do you worry that your luggage will somehow be lost on the journey?

Do you worry that you’ve forgotten to bring important documents/money/credit card/travel tickets/passport?

Do you worry that you may not have switched off the cooker/locked the back door/switched on the burglar alarm?

Do you worry that your taxi will break down/crash/be exterminated by daleks?

Do you worry that your bus will tumble over a precipice?

Do you worry that a crazed madman with a bomb will hijack your plane?

If your answer to all those questions has been “Yes” -
JOIN THE CLUB



However let’s not be too depressed. There are a number of things we can do.

1. In case your alarm clock fails to go off, set a second one to ring, and also a third one should the second one let you down.

2. To ensure you don’t miss your bus/train/plane, leave the house 2 hours earlier than you planned. Better still, set off the night before.

3. If you have doubts about your taxi appearing, order 2 or 3 taxis, each from different firms.

4. Keep your luggage secure by firmly binding your cases about your person with strong rope.

5. Before leaving home, check that you have your documents, money etc at least 4 times, and the same procedure for turning off gas etc.

6. Regarding all possible calamities and catastrophies, you can prepare by fortifying yourself with enough liquor to keep you legless.

HAVE A NICE DAY!  
                                                      
No, I haven’t forgotten about the madman with a bomb. If he turns up, your worries will be over!


Finally, a word of wisdom -

        Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.


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NEW - The Haiku Habit - NEW
beginning on Monday 1st October

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